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this side of paradise i'm romantic - a sentimental person thinks things will last - a romantic person hopes against hope that they won't |
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![]() Saturday, June 21, 2003 DEAD
we had a good run though - i still love the kid - and if you go back through and count all the times me made me cry and all the times that i went nuts over him - i'd say that is a bench mark of a great relationship - well at least that he completely had me right - well yes - so until somethings happens again - this is dead -
Thursday, June 12, 2003 MASS CONFUSION TAKES HOLD
Saturday, June 07, 2003 ALONE IN THE WASTELAND : I AM ALONE NOW
so i went to the bar and saw that the boy was there - i refer to him as the boy to keep his identity a secret - although who the fuck cares i have no idea - but i went over to him and told him i liked his shirt - it was one that i gave to him - we chatted a bit - nothing really to interesting - just small talk - i wanted so bad to just hug him and say everythign to him - but i first asked him if he got my phone messeges - he said no - oh hell then - he has no idea what he is about to get - so some time went by and he got up and said he was going to leave - i asked him if i could crash at his place and he said "no i would rather you not tonight" - now i am sorry - but that only gives me bad ideas about what is going to happen then later - i have had friends and an x who told me not to come over only to go and do things with other people - and i guess if he was blowing me off - then that is fine - its a free world - - - - well i followed him out and to the cars - i told him to check his messeges - and he left - i then called him and asked him if i could come over to his house and talk to him - he said yes - what happened next was the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life -
Thursday, June 05, 2003 THERE IS NO TIME THAT IS THE RIGHT TIME - SO JUST GIVE UP ALREADY AND DO IT
well i supose that things are going ok - i went out for dinner with him twice as friends last weekend (or atleast i think that is what it was - i wish it was a date - and i hate dates - god that makes me sad and desperate) - the first was at garfields and we just had supper and then had beers all night - we talked for a good three hours i think - it was nice to get to do that - afterwords we went back and crashed at his house - the next night we went to town house pizza place - its up on floyd blvd - i have never been there before but have seen it many times - it was a nice little joint - i was not to sure at first - but i did like it - what can i say i had great company - after eating a great pizza we went to the bar for a while - it was not very entertaining that night which was kinda a huge bummer - we ended up leaving early which was fine cause when i got home i went right to bed - i was exhausted - the next day he let me sit with him on the floor and rub his back - oh god he has such a nice back - hell the whole body is great - which brings me to the thing i was going to talk about today - as much as i wish i was dating him right now - and i do wish that so much - it was nice to get to know him on a friend level but more so i enjoyed the time i spent with him just talking - and oh my god that is such a turn on for me - a man with a brain that isn't just spurting out sportscenter quotes or lines for the latest adam sandler movie - which for your information i hate all of them but one - punch drunk lovewas great - recomend it - but anyway - i mean the attraction was always there - as i wrote to a friend - we were more bedfellows then anything at frist - we really didn't know each other at all - but the attraction was so strong it was hard to ignore it - to this day i will say it was love at frist sight - and i believe that completely - i even broke my cardinal rule of knowing a guys last name before anything - i didn't get that till the fourth time i say him - lying in bed with him - oh yikes - but none the less - there are strides being made here - and they are good - i am always a little confused as to what he thinks - i hope its good - i hope its me - and so on - well i guess i would just be happy if he told me he liked being with me - i think that would just about put me on cloud nine -
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